Hello. My name is Emo Marie and I like to play video games.
Yes, I know that I am in my 30's and I am a parent, but I still like to play video games. My favorites are the Lego series. I just finished up Lego Batman 2, and got 100% completion and all of the achievements. I realize they are targeted towards children, but I love to solve the puzzles and figure out how to unlock all the characters, and it's something that Deputy D and Little Man and I can play together.
I also occasionally play shooter games with Deputy D. I am one of those players who likes to camp and snipe people, although the last couple of games he has brought home has not been conducive to this style of playing. I like the fact that I get on the headset and people are amazed that it is a girl playing, and we get many game invites this way. This benefits us when higher level people invite us to play, and we are able to take some time to level up on a winning team.
There is a whole other story to how Ammo Girl was born, but I will save that for another day. Today, I want to focus on the dark side of gaming. I started thinking about it when I traded in my Skyrim game to help and get the new Batman one.
To understand where this is going, you need to know that back in college, my brother (Smartypants) gave me an ominous warning. He looked at me, and in a very stern, serious tone of voice said that I should NEVER PLAY WORLD OF WARCRAFT. For many years, the command rattled around in my brain, but I never gave it much thought because I did not know what World of Warcraft was and I never looked into it.
Last year, our friend got every excited and said that a game just came out that I had to play. Deputy D asked him what it was and was told, "Skyrim." We didn't know much about the game series, so we said alright and he brought a rented game disc over. I was hooked within 30 seconds. You mean I not only get to customize my character's appearance, but I can also choose character attributes and magical abilities?
I quickly took the controller from him and eagerly listened as he instructed how to start quests, earn money, and level up my high elf character. In the back of my mind, I could hear Smartypants repeating, "NEVER PLAY WORLD OF WARCRAFT," but paid him no heed. Because, after all, this was not World of Warcraft.
I played and I quested and I battled and I became an assassin just to get one of the puzzle pieces I needed. I played at lunch and I played after work and I played while I waited for Little Man to get dressed in the mornings. I promised Deputy D and Little Man that I would cook dinner just as soon as I finished the quest that I was on or as soon as I slayed the next dragon. The phone would ring and I would just stare at it as I kept chasing the attackers or trying to figure out how to carry more weight so I could keep the sword I just forged.
Deputy D called Smartypants at some point and told him what I was playing. Smartypants just sighed, and asked why he would have let me get started on a game like that. Didn't he know that I was never supposed to play World of Warcraft or anything similar to that? Deputy D said that I hadn't shared that bit of information, but it would have been good to know.
On the weekends that Little Man was gone, I would stay in my pajamas on the couch the entire weekend, and would play until I fell asleep with the controller in my hands. I would play until everything was blurry from exhaustion and I could not even think straight, and then Deputy D would come home from work and carry me to bed. I have mentioned that he works nights??
I forgot to stop and eat, and I tried not to drink a lot so that I would not be bothered by having to get up and go to the bathroom.
Our friend would text and ask what I was doing. I would look at the phone, and then keep playing. A little while later, I would get another text, "Oh, Skyrim again? You should really take a break."
They tried to stage an intervention for me by making me watch the South Park episode that deals with World of Warcraft. I am not really a South Park fan and I have to say that my response to it was probably not what they were looking for. I laughed and then went straight back to playing my game.
Luckily I was playing on the PS3, which had a serious lag issue with the game. It was so bad, that it would take 30 seconds or more for my character to take one step. I was never able to actually complete the game. The lag got so bad that it was completely unplayable. And the patch did not really fix the problem, or they went behind my back and uninstalled the patch when I was not paying attention. At any rate, one day my high elf was running after a dragon, sword raised, when she finally froze for good. I stared at the screen forlornly, holding the controller in my lap wondering what to do next. Deputy D came and gently took the controller from me, turned off the PS3 and television, and said that he thought maybe some fresh air would do me good.
I squinted at the bright ball of light in the sky and then took and deep breath and realized that Smartypants knew what he was talking about all along, and I should probably listen to him more often.
I wish I could say that I traded in Skyrim because I know better than to start playing again. But the truth of the matter is that I just didn't want to take a chance on the lag problem not getting corrected, and I am hoping to get the game for our new Xbox. If Deputy D knows the lag problem has since been corrected on the PS3, he certainly didn't volunteer the information.
So I am begging all my friends and family to just let me stick to the Lego games and not try and introduce me to role playing games that they think I will like. Because I should never play World of Warcraft or anything remotely similar to it. Brother knows best.