Tuesday, September 4, 2012

Truthful Tuesday - Semantics... The Difference Between Men and Women

Deputy D was out of town a while back.  Before he left, I admonished him to be good, to stay out of trouble, and to please stay away from motorcycle dealerships.  Those of you who know us know that the months following the great motorcycle fiasco were really rough, and I definitely did not want a repeat performance.

Back to semantics.  When Deputy D promised me that he would not go to any motorcycle dealerships, I was under the impression that he and I were on the same page about all the possible scenarios this promise covered.  It seemed pretty simple to me.  Don't go anywhere near any motorcycle dealerships.  Period.  For any reason.  Don't even think about motorcycles, upgrading motorcycles, or test-driving motorcycles.  Motorcycles and dealerships are off limits.

To him, the guidelines were not so crystal clear.

One evening, his friends decided that they wanted to go peruse the offerings of the closest dealership when they had some down time and, Deputy D being the stand-up guy that he is, offered to drive them there and keep them out of any trouble.  Apparently, it never occurred to him that this would be breaking the promise he made me in any way.

I was livid when I found out.  After all, he had made me a promise and had broken that promise.  Black and white, right?

Wrong.  His argument to me was that he had not TECHNICALLY broken the promise because he had not actually gone onto the showroom floor.  He did not test-drive a motorcycle and did not even talk to a salesman.  He stayed outside in the accessories area and waited there while his friends went in to the showroom floor and shopped.

We argued and fought and discussed.  And it all boils down to semantics.  He knew what I meant when I asked him to make the promise, and he decided to test the boundaries of that promise to the fullest extent possible.  He did not actually come home with a new motorcycle, which I am thankful for, but I am having a hard time getting the picture of him test-driving a bike out of my head.  Even though he says he stayed in the accessories area.

He has a perfectly good motorcycle at home.  It is fairly new, and still runs well most of the time.  Why would he want to look at or window shop for a different machine?  After all, he picked out the model that he currently has and, for the most part, I thought he was pretty happy with it.

Things are almost always black and white to women, but it seems to me that men like to live in the gray areas.  They like to push things as far as they can go, without actually breaking the rules.  At least, that has been my experience.  I wonder why that is, and why men and women are so different in that regards.  Even Little Man, who is the king of being literal and things being black and white, likes to see exactly how far he can push a situation without actually breaking the rules or getting into trouble.

It probably boils down somehow to women being fueled by their emotions, and men sticking to the logic involved in a situation.  To stay out of the doghouse though, it seems to me that men would learn to just accept the things that drive their wives crazy and love them in spite of it.  And for goodness sake... Don't make a promise (knowing exactly what the promise means) if you don't intend on keeping it!


  1. So my question is did you learn that there will always be a difference in both of your way of thinking? I have been married to his father for 32 years so I understand where you are both comiong from. And you'll will make it will love and common sense on how much money is at the end of the chain. He has to learn to look but don't touch. And he will he's a good boy.

  2. For now, we have agreed to disagree on the subject.