Yes, I have had a couple of conversations the past few days about our decorating plans. I MIGHT have a problem...
Wednesday, August 29, 2012
Tuesday, August 28, 2012
Truthful Tuesday - Back to Normal, If There Is Such a Thing
Well, it's life back to normal around here. Or as normal as life can be for us at least.
Little Man is back in school, and I am really hoping that this year goes so much better than last year. Since we did the testing and got the results at the very end of the year last semester, we are a little unsure exactly what this school year will hold for us.
It was a pretty rough summer for all of us. Between me being typical Emo Marie about our struggle getting pregnant, Little Man being gone for so long for visitation, my aunt passing away, and then the tragedy of Constable Bachmann... Well, let's just say I am totally on board with summer being over.
Surprisingly, Little Man being gone for a whole month for this summer's visitation seemed to work better for him than going back and forth every few weeks. But we have had him off his medicine for most of the summer to let him gain some weight back, and so there have been some struggles.
But we did make an observation. The side effects of the medicine that he was on far outweighed the little benefit that he was getting from it. So, for the time being, he is going to school medicine-free. And I am terrified. I keep waiting for the phone to ring with a call from the teacher about how she is at wit's end with him. He seems to really like her, and I think that is going to be helpful.
We are working on making changes at home, too, in order to make things easier for him. When I redecorated him room while he was gone this summer, I put most of his toys into plastic shoe boxes with lids. Each type of toy has it's own container. This has been a really great tool for helping him to keep his room clean. The Autism specialist told us in May that the reason that his room kept turning into a war zone and looked like a bomb had exploded in it was that there was just too much in there for him to deal with and he was getting overwhelmed. So I decided to try and compartmentalize things for him, because he seems to like it at school when everything has its own container or particular place.
They are going to be using a visual schedule for him at school. I honestly don't know what theirs is going to look like, but I found class schedules at the craft store that are dry erase and are large enough for me to fit his whole day on. Deputy D and I are hoping that by having a visual chart to refer to, it will help him know exactly what he is supposed to be doing at certain times. The down side to this is that if I put that 7:15 is the time for him to brush his teeth, we better be brushing right at 7:15 on the dot. Or there will be mass hysteria.
The other thing I am going to try is to post visual reminders around his room and bathroom about the order in which he is supposed to do things. I am hoping that all of this put together will help home life go much more smoothly this year as well.
We have an appointment with his doctors in a couple of weeks to assess the medication situation. He has filled out and grown so much over the summer, that I am really reluctant to put him back on any medication. But I know that I will do whatever it takes to get him the best quality of life possible and to be as successful as he can be.
Wish us luck, because we have not had homework sent home yet this year, and that was one of the biggest challenges last year. Once we get to that hurdle, I will be better able to predict how the year is going to go.
May the force be with us!
Little Man is back in school, and I am really hoping that this year goes so much better than last year. Since we did the testing and got the results at the very end of the year last semester, we are a little unsure exactly what this school year will hold for us.
It was a pretty rough summer for all of us. Between me being typical Emo Marie about our struggle getting pregnant, Little Man being gone for so long for visitation, my aunt passing away, and then the tragedy of Constable Bachmann... Well, let's just say I am totally on board with summer being over.
Surprisingly, Little Man being gone for a whole month for this summer's visitation seemed to work better for him than going back and forth every few weeks. But we have had him off his medicine for most of the summer to let him gain some weight back, and so there have been some struggles.
But we did make an observation. The side effects of the medicine that he was on far outweighed the little benefit that he was getting from it. So, for the time being, he is going to school medicine-free. And I am terrified. I keep waiting for the phone to ring with a call from the teacher about how she is at wit's end with him. He seems to really like her, and I think that is going to be helpful.
We are working on making changes at home, too, in order to make things easier for him. When I redecorated him room while he was gone this summer, I put most of his toys into plastic shoe boxes with lids. Each type of toy has it's own container. This has been a really great tool for helping him to keep his room clean. The Autism specialist told us in May that the reason that his room kept turning into a war zone and looked like a bomb had exploded in it was that there was just too much in there for him to deal with and he was getting overwhelmed. So I decided to try and compartmentalize things for him, because he seems to like it at school when everything has its own container or particular place.
They are going to be using a visual schedule for him at school. I honestly don't know what theirs is going to look like, but I found class schedules at the craft store that are dry erase and are large enough for me to fit his whole day on. Deputy D and I are hoping that by having a visual chart to refer to, it will help him know exactly what he is supposed to be doing at certain times. The down side to this is that if I put that 7:15 is the time for him to brush his teeth, we better be brushing right at 7:15 on the dot. Or there will be mass hysteria.
The other thing I am going to try is to post visual reminders around his room and bathroom about the order in which he is supposed to do things. I am hoping that all of this put together will help home life go much more smoothly this year as well.
We have an appointment with his doctors in a couple of weeks to assess the medication situation. He has filled out and grown so much over the summer, that I am really reluctant to put him back on any medication. But I know that I will do whatever it takes to get him the best quality of life possible and to be as successful as he can be.
Wish us luck, because we have not had homework sent home yet this year, and that was one of the biggest challenges last year. Once we get to that hurdle, I will be better able to predict how the year is going to go.
May the force be with us!
Wednesday, August 22, 2012
Tuesday, August 21, 2012
Truthful Tuesday - A Million Little Pieces
One week ago, Constable Bachmann was senselessly gunned down while serving an eviction notice, an event that shook our community to the core. Constable Bachmann and an an innocent bystander lost their lives that day, and another bystander was left fighting for her life in the hospital, her only crime being that she was in the wrong place at the wrong time.
One week ago, I had to come face to face with all the "why's" and "what if's" that are involved with being law enforcement officer. I had to watch a stoic widow hold her children as they said good-bye to their father, while a community said good-bye to one of its finest citizens.
One week ago, I was forced to stop living in ignorant bliss and actually deal with all the "what if's" that come along with being the wife of a law enforcement officer. What if he did get injured or did not make it home one day? What would my life be like? How would I even begin to handle that? Am I strong enough to even face that possibility head on?
I have wrestled with some very harsh realities and ugly truths this past week, and will admit that it has taken its toll on me. The fact that I dealt with most of them on my own has made me come out the other side a stronger person and, I hope, a better wife to Deputy D. I still have a long way to go... Everyone does. Grieving is a long process, and everyone does it in their own way and in their own time.
Some of the ugly truths I had to face were about myself.
I am still angry at the shooter. Judge me however you want. I don't think he had the right to take lives to deal with his own internal struggles. Everyone has internal struggles. Not everyone picks up a gun and starts shooting people to deal with them. His decision to pick up a gun that day and start shooting has tragically impacted countless lives.
The truth is that anything could happen to any one of us at any point during the day. We could be in a wreck, we could get sick, or we could encounter any of the numerous unseen dangers that we face every day. The fact that we live with law enforcement officers just makes those possibilities so much more imminent.
The police, firefighters, and first responders are heroes to me now even more than they have ever been before. Up until last week, their service and sacrifice was something that I took for granted and did not give much thought to. Never again. Over the past week, I have seen up close and personal what their job really entails and what they willingly choose to give to up for people (mostly strangers) each and every time they go on duty or start their shift.
I have had to come to grips with the fact that I need to have the internal fortitude to be strong and make it through whatever life throws at us on my own, without relying on others to make it through the day. Before, I would have said that I was not one of those people who can do that. Now, I know that I can handle more on my own than I ever thought was possible.
I found myself in a very dark place Saturday night, darker than almost any other time in my life. Deputy D had to work, and I found myself have to deal with my grief and all the extreme emotions that were spilling out alone. I sat on the couch, hearing the clock tick and all the "why's" and "what if's" were echoing around the empty house and bouncing off the walls. I could not turn on the laptop or TV because I just could not bear to watch any more news clips or Facebook posts about the funeral. Every time I closed my eyes, all I could see and hear were the final status check from the funeral playing on a repeat loop in my brain.
I finally got myself to sleep... I will freely admit that I had medicinal help with this. The next morning, I went to church thinking I would be able to find some comfort there, but that did not work out exactly like I thought it would. I found myself alone in a sea of people, and ended up coming home and crying some more.
There has been a lot of crying this past week. I have shed more tears this week than I have in several years put together. Please know that it was not all about the past week's events. The funeral was just the final straw in a string of really stressful events that have happened over the summer. I think I finally just had all I could take and broke into a million pieces.
Funny thing is, it has been easy to start the process of putting myself back together. Once you take a good long look at the pieces that used to be you, you start seeing that there might be a better way to put them back together. And then you end up being a better person than you started out.
In Loving Memory of All the Heroes Who Make the Ultimate Sacrifice...
One week ago, I had to come face to face with all the "why's" and "what if's" that are involved with being law enforcement officer. I had to watch a stoic widow hold her children as they said good-bye to their father, while a community said good-bye to one of its finest citizens.
One week ago, I was forced to stop living in ignorant bliss and actually deal with all the "what if's" that come along with being the wife of a law enforcement officer. What if he did get injured or did not make it home one day? What would my life be like? How would I even begin to handle that? Am I strong enough to even face that possibility head on?
I have wrestled with some very harsh realities and ugly truths this past week, and will admit that it has taken its toll on me. The fact that I dealt with most of them on my own has made me come out the other side a stronger person and, I hope, a better wife to Deputy D. I still have a long way to go... Everyone does. Grieving is a long process, and everyone does it in their own way and in their own time.
Some of the ugly truths I had to face were about myself.
I am still angry at the shooter. Judge me however you want. I don't think he had the right to take lives to deal with his own internal struggles. Everyone has internal struggles. Not everyone picks up a gun and starts shooting people to deal with them. His decision to pick up a gun that day and start shooting has tragically impacted countless lives.
The truth is that anything could happen to any one of us at any point during the day. We could be in a wreck, we could get sick, or we could encounter any of the numerous unseen dangers that we face every day. The fact that we live with law enforcement officers just makes those possibilities so much more imminent.
The police, firefighters, and first responders are heroes to me now even more than they have ever been before. Up until last week, their service and sacrifice was something that I took for granted and did not give much thought to. Never again. Over the past week, I have seen up close and personal what their job really entails and what they willingly choose to give to up for people (mostly strangers) each and every time they go on duty or start their shift.
I have had to come to grips with the fact that I need to have the internal fortitude to be strong and make it through whatever life throws at us on my own, without relying on others to make it through the day. Before, I would have said that I was not one of those people who can do that. Now, I know that I can handle more on my own than I ever thought was possible.
I found myself in a very dark place Saturday night, darker than almost any other time in my life. Deputy D had to work, and I found myself have to deal with my grief and all the extreme emotions that were spilling out alone. I sat on the couch, hearing the clock tick and all the "why's" and "what if's" were echoing around the empty house and bouncing off the walls. I could not turn on the laptop or TV because I just could not bear to watch any more news clips or Facebook posts about the funeral. Every time I closed my eyes, all I could see and hear were the final status check from the funeral playing on a repeat loop in my brain.
I finally got myself to sleep... I will freely admit that I had medicinal help with this. The next morning, I went to church thinking I would be able to find some comfort there, but that did not work out exactly like I thought it would. I found myself alone in a sea of people, and ended up coming home and crying some more.
There has been a lot of crying this past week. I have shed more tears this week than I have in several years put together. Please know that it was not all about the past week's events. The funeral was just the final straw in a string of really stressful events that have happened over the summer. I think I finally just had all I could take and broke into a million pieces.
Funny thing is, it has been easy to start the process of putting myself back together. Once you take a good long look at the pieces that used to be you, you start seeing that there might be a better way to put them back together. And then you end up being a better person than you started out.
In Loving Memory of All the Heroes Who Make the Ultimate Sacrifice...
Wednesday, August 15, 2012
Tuesday, August 14, 2012
Truthful Tuesday - The Thin Blue Line
I am still struggling to understand how I feel right now.
Of course, my heart aches for the wife and children of the officer that died yesterday. I can't begin to even pretend to understand what they must be going through. I can only try to imagine the heartache I would feel if it were me.
I am angry at the shooter and the senseless killing of an outstanding officer, father, and husband.
I am grateful that my law enforcement officer is safe today and came home to me this morning, and I am ashamed of my selfishness for that.
I am sad for all the officers in the community that lost a friend, fellow officer, and mentor.
I am thankful for the sacrifice that my husband and all the police officers in the community make each and every time that they go on duty to protect us and keep us safe.
Deputy D has been in law enforcement since we got married. We have talked about the dangers the job entails, but I have always been overly confident that he will come home to me and nothing will ever happen to him. After all, in my eyes, he is Superman and therefore indestructible.
A wife of a fellow officer said yesterday that she chooses to live in blissful ignorance of all the "what if's" and that about sums it up. If we focus on and think about all the "what'ifs", how we would ever even let them walk out the door?
A wife of a fellow officer said yesterday that she chooses to live in blissful ignorance of all the "what if's" and that about sums it up. If we focus on and think about all the "what'ifs", how we would ever even let them walk out the door?
The cold, harsh reality is that anything could happen to them at any given moment that they are on duty, just like it did on an idle Monday afternoon in College Station yesterday. Before he left last night, I held Deputy D closer and longer than I have in a long while. He came home to me this morning, while there is a widow out there who is grieving and went to bed alone. I am blessed beyond words that my police officer is safe and here with us now.
I sincerely hope that Officer Bachmann's sacrifice was not in vain. It certainly has not gone unnoticed, and there is an entire community grieving right along with family and friends. Aggies tend to love and support their own, not matter what and I know that a maroon wall of support surrounding his wife and children.
In her post, the fellow officer's wife continues to talk about how our guys are not always there to put our children to bed, and often are not home when we wake up in the morning. They miss church services, school events, and birthday parties. Our guys are up roaming the streets at night keeping us safe, while we are are home in bed sleeping peacefully.
I get angry and hurt about that sometimes, and it is difficult to deal with. I don't even know how my real-life Army wife cousin KiKi has done it all these years. I think it takes special people to be law enforcement, firefighters, and soldiers. And I think it takes special people to be their families and support. Yesterday has me seriously questioning whether I made of the stuff it takes to be one of those people.
Am I really willing to let Deputy D sacrifice our life together to possibly lose it all in a senseless killing?
I don't have any answers, and I have struggled to even get words out to begin to make sense of it all. I hope you bear with me if any of this is offensive or is rambling. This is the first time anything like this has even remotely hit close to home for us.
My Facebook feed has gone back to it's regular lineup of food, politics, and general comments about everyday life. How quickly most have moved on. But I have not, and it will take a while for me to sort through all of this.
Please continue to pray for Constable Bachmann's family, and the families of all the victims. They will need all the love, prayer, and support that they can get to make it through this time.
Rest in peace, Constable Bachmann. I only met you in person a couple of times, but you made a difference in a lot of lives and I heard about that so many times.
Please take a moment today to stop and think about all of the police, firefighters, and soldiers that sacrifice every day to keep us safe. And may we never forget those that have made the ultimate sacrifice.
I get angry and hurt about that sometimes, and it is difficult to deal with. I don't even know how my real-life Army wife cousin KiKi has done it all these years. I think it takes special people to be law enforcement, firefighters, and soldiers. And I think it takes special people to be their families and support. Yesterday has me seriously questioning whether I made of the stuff it takes to be one of those people.
Am I really willing to let Deputy D sacrifice our life together to possibly lose it all in a senseless killing?
I don't have any answers, and I have struggled to even get words out to begin to make sense of it all. I hope you bear with me if any of this is offensive or is rambling. This is the first time anything like this has even remotely hit close to home for us.
My Facebook feed has gone back to it's regular lineup of food, politics, and general comments about everyday life. How quickly most have moved on. But I have not, and it will take a while for me to sort through all of this.
Please continue to pray for Constable Bachmann's family, and the families of all the victims. They will need all the love, prayer, and support that they can get to make it through this time.
Rest in peace, Constable Bachmann. I only met you in person a couple of times, but you made a difference in a lot of lives and I heard about that so many times.
Please take a moment today to stop and think about all of the police, firefighters, and soldiers that sacrifice every day to keep us safe. And may we never forget those that have made the ultimate sacrifice.
Monday, August 13, 2012
Make Something Monday - Father's Day T-Shirt
I was browsing the aisles of Target looking for something really cool to give Dad for Father's Day, and I came across this nifty package of iron-on transfers for T-shirts. They had versions for both light-colored and dark-colored shirts. To me, the instructions seem simpler for the dark colored version, so that is what I went with. I decided that making a custom shirt for Dad would be way more awesome than any shirt I could buy him!
Dad loved the shirt, and Little Man thought it was pretty cool that his picture was on the shirt. He was perturbed that I used pictures of both of the grandsons, and not just him. And he apparently had no idea that Dad is a Sunday School teacher. I am not sure how that is possible. Mom has washed the shirt, following the instructions included with the transfer, and said that it washed up fine. I know that Dad has worn it a couple of times, and it has held up pretty well. Overall, an inexpensive project that makes a really cool personalized gift for someone.
The whole process was pretty simple. I created my design on the computer and then printed it out using the high quality setting. I used Publisher to create the art. I know... shocker. I HATE Publisher. But it's the only publishing program I have at home, and sometimes you just have to work with what you have.
I washed the shirt, following the instructions on the transfer and then ironed it out until it was smooth. You have to use a hard surface, like a table.
Trim out the art and remove the backing. This is the part that gave me the most trouble. I had problems getting the backing off, and ended up with one wrinkled edge where I removed it. Put the transfer on the shirt, cover it with tissue paper, and then iron according to the instructions.
Dad loved the shirt, and Little Man thought it was pretty cool that his picture was on the shirt. He was perturbed that I used pictures of both of the grandsons, and not just him. And he apparently had no idea that Dad is a Sunday School teacher. I am not sure how that is possible. Mom has washed the shirt, following the instructions included with the transfer, and said that it washed up fine. I know that Dad has worn it a couple of times, and it has held up pretty well. Overall, an inexpensive project that makes a really cool personalized gift for someone.
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